The Z.O.P.

So it has happened. Almost that is.Became a direct victim of the credit crunch. Even as I type this out, a meeting is progressing at 8.30am CST (8.00 pm IST) announcing the bad news to the offshore team mates.
Starting January 2009 year, we will proceed towards a ZERO ONSITE POLICY. (Z.O.P.)
What it means is that they wont have people located at client side at all. Every single thing will be 100% offshored.
This happened after the management decided to pay a visit to our call centre wing. And suddenly realised they dont have onsite personnel at all, and were functioning just fine. In multiple shifts, across all timezones, including a couple of overlapping night shifts.
"Aahhaa!!" said they... and out came the calculators.
"Analysing our current relationship with the customer , it has come to our notice there are some gaps in value proposition we offer them.." , a bespectacled man must have droned to an audience of bean counters.
"For every resource we bring back , it will result in a saving of 75% , and if a corresponding resource at offshore is given 1.2% over and above our current investment in resource , it would result in the nett savings of over 5.97823 %.. " , all very exciting figures, if you are an MBA in power , like the above gnome eyed fellow.

The management must be terribly excited. "What a fantastic idea!!!" , they must be thinking.

What would be implied though that we can subject the software guys to fantastic amounts of misery , and convince the customer that there is value in that . So that fat cats like us can continue to get fatter.

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The mayhem caused by a bunch of ragtag gunmen in Mumbai is over.....for the time being (I desperately hope that I am wrong here).
This begs a question... How safe are we really ?
If the motive is to find a large concentration of humanity at a place, the following places come to the mind : Train Stations, state bus depots, large hotels...and..err IT Companies.
Lets face it guys..... we are all but sitting ducks for the anti-humans. Ofcourse we have security at our gates, well armed with...err...whistles. They are well suited to the tasks normally required of a security person at an IT Company. Guiding vehicles, checking visiting workers and keeping a general eye on things. The keyword here is "normally" . But confronted with the grimiest slime from the gutter, like the ones in Mumbai, I wonder how effective they will be.
Maybe they should make a shootout drill compulsary, like a fire safety drill. Hit the floor! Dont move! Unfortunately, stuff like this should come naturally to us.
Heres what we might have to do while leaving for work :
Laptop bag - Check.
Lunch box - Check.
Swipe Card - Check.
Cellphone - Check.
9 MM in the holster - Check.
Yes, I do hope they allow private citizens to bear arms now. I know that it will bring a huge set of their own problems , but how many choices are we left with now ?
Its worse than the wild west now, you shoot or you get shot.

PS: I am serious.
You can place an order here.
This , apparently, isnt being sold to private buyers.

Panic ?

Our primary client will be sending out RFPs (Request for Proposals) for various projects, including mine, in December. All the Indian IT biggies, are understood to have an expressed an interest. That.... and some Mexican firm too, and nearshoring is a good option, say the United Voters of Obama.

This, combined with the overall recession atmosphere, has our management worried I guess.
The number of pointless prep talk meetings have increased drastically. We already had our fourth in the last couple of weeks. "What can we do make this place better?" , they ask... usually without the expectation of an answer. I usually spend the time making little dots appear in patterns on the different pages of my notepad (Which invariably everyone carries into the meeting, but noone ever does anything with it.)


I keep asking myself, is it such a bad thing if this thing goes ??

On another note, my project details were suddenly changed last month. From September 2009, its now down to Dec 2008. This isnt the case for everybody.
Annndd... a big list of around 200 people to be laid off is being drawn up. This is one of those confirmed rumours.
So am I on my way out ?
I dont know. Watch this space.

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Yet another thing I forgot to add.
I have been through things "I am going have to go ahead and ask you to come in during Diwali" , in almost the exactly the same style.

Office Space (contd)

Forgot to mention in my earlier post. I seriously got my own version of the "TPS Reports" .
And I kid you not, we even got a dedicated resource, who does nothing but review our equivalent of "TPS Reports" all day long.
A little background on TPSR:
In the movie, our protagonist (believe me, if you are ITDonkey, its terribly easy to identify with him) , who is a harried IT company employee. And works, like me, in the field of Databases (dBase III, I guess, from the below screengrab ) .
Now on a Monday morning, our hero gets picked on by his bosses for forgetting to follow a new 'process' of putting new cover sheets on his "TPS Reports".

At one point in the movie, the chap asks his colleagues , "What if I am still doing this by the time I am 50 ? "
This , seriously, sent a shudder down my entire body. What if I am still doing what I currently do ?? The stuff which isnt, for me, even slightly constructive or interesting and doesnt add an iota of value to my life and leaves me feeling empty. Okay, there is the money (not much to begin with, just enough to create an understanding of how little you can afford ) , but little else.
For someone like me who has absolutely no other skills (not that I classify what I currently do under a "skill" ) , I guess carrying on is the only option.

Office Space.

I happened to see the film "Office Space" today.
Its not a movie. No sir.
Its a friggin documentary.

I dont know how many ITDonkey's out there feel so, but for me, the movie just so....connects... I got no other words for it.
Its an absolute must watch for everyone out there who works in the Information "Technology" (!) industry.

Freebies....

I have a strange sense of elation today... Actually got free food from office.
A free lunch. Those not in the 'know' may not realise how alien a term it is for my organization.
I was standing in the cafeteria with money in my hand and an incredulous look on my face saying "Whaat?!!... You dont want it!!???" .