Sunday, July 31, 2011

Knotty Travails

After much coaxing and cajoling by his folks, the Donkey finally agreed to call the female his folks were emailing him about almost for 2 continuous days. Sitting in the adjoining room. Somehow, they think, an idea assumes an air of importance for the Donkey only if it is emailed to him.

Hence, yours truly did the bravest thing he had attempted in quite some time today morning : Called an unknown female.
The call was disconnected in the third ring.
Relief. I had an excuse to not go through this after all.

Unfortunately, it was answered in the second attempt. I, as anyone who had spent too much time being an ITDonkey would do, promptly went blank the moment it was. Fortunately, the person at the other end was not one, and she took charge.
5.30 pm, at Fancy Coffee Place.

Quite something , for someone whose idea of "eating out" was having a plate of masala dosa (fondly called as MSL.DSA) in the the office canteen.

What follows is a step by step account of how to score big self goals during such encounters.

- As you all know, most pictures of females taken for matrimonial purposes are seriously Auntyfied. Even in this form, my date for the day , did warrant a second look.
In real life, she was the kind of person, in whose direction all male teams in office crane their collective necks to catch a glimpse of.
And I, on the other hand, look like, well, Me. Which is only slightly worse than a real donkey. Only with less hair. Strike one against the donkey then.

- Presented with a form like the mentioned above,most of my brain cells loudly declare "No sir, we are better off staying back in the car..". Thus deserted by most of my key allies, I lurched towards where my date was seated.
"Hi Neha!"
"Hi, its Priya..!".
WHOA!! Thats an unbelievable biggie. The mother of all self goals.
Strike two against the Donkey. And strike three, four and five as well. I was on borrowed strikes now.

- "What exactly does your job involve Mr.Donkey?"
"" .
Borrowed Strike six. I was not even sub-prime strike worthy now.
No idea why I said that. I dont travel. My job involves shuffling some code. As I said, my senses had taken a leave, and were sitting at the adjoining table, having a massive laughter session at my expense. But I had already made myself sound like I am a travelling salesman. That every morning after I get up, I pick my battered briefcase up, and head for a road trip.

Not the correct thing to say to someone whose opening lines clearly said she wanted to stay in Pune. It was not even a correct thing at all.

There were a few other things in between though, including her objective evaluation of me. Had a good laugh while driving back and was finally alone though.